William (4), after biting his brother on the hand:
"I didn’t *bite* him. I just…put my teeth on him. And closed them."
I see court rooms in this kid’s future - hopefully due to his snappy reasoning and negotiation skills rather than the biting…
I want to go back to my pre-kids self and *shake* that guy every time he complains of being a bit bored.
"Hey, stupid - that thing you’re feeling is FREEDOM."
What? What is this “spare time” thing that people keep talking about?
I vaguely remember something like that from ~1000 years ago. Though I could be confusing it with that one time I went to the toilet without having the door smashed down by a child needing their sock pulled up. I’m not sure if that technically counts as spare time. Actually, relatively speaking…I think it does.
Anyway - sure, yep, I’ll do it in my spare time. I’ve even added it to my calendar for Saturday, August 24th.
Heard some sounds coming from the next room:
*Furniture being dragged*
*Extensive amounts of sellotape being unwound*
*Two little boys giggling*
"Hey daddy, come and see what we did to the cat!"
This will not end well.
Vacuumed the house yesterday and a good ton of stray Lego [accidentally, of course…] went up the tube. Got up in the night and *still* ended up with three jagged pieces stabbed through my flesh.
Well played, Lego. Well played.
Went to make my coffee this morning and discovered we had none left!
Looked in our normal coffee stash spot and there was nothing there. Totally freaked out, but managed to fight through the tears and clouded vision to find a fresh pack hidden at the back of the cupboard.
More tears. Happy tears.
Heck of a morning so far, you guys.
Hey you guys, I have a page over on Facebook and it’s basically just my mum liking my stuff at the moment. That’s all cool with me but I think she feels a bit lonely on her own. Which is not so cool.
I figure if the Tumblr army (you massive, awesome bunch of people, you) descends on the page to join the action then she’ll relax a bit - safety in numbers, and all that. Or she’ll panic with all the strangers flooding her son’s page and run away forever (in real life, because she doesn’t really get technology so the lines blur a bit for her), but I think that first one is more likely.
Help a mother out, Tumblr? Just don’t break Facebook, ok?!